KSLA News 12 Shreveport, Louisiana News Weather & SportsNew GOP candidate enters race - sort of

(RNN) - We've all been on the roller coaster ride that is the Republican presidential primary: Repetitive debates, attack ads commercials, and humorous gaffes. For some, Tuesday's Iowa caucuses can't come soon enough.

But after that, we must endure the New Hampshire primary, South Carolina primary and by Super Tuesday ... we might be willing to appoint a monarch just to make it all stop.

The electorate says it wants a straightforward candidate who doesn't mince words and expresses his - or her - opinions clearly. But does it really want a nominee who parrots the right sound bites and is more fluff than substance?

Meet GOP candidate Marvin E. Quasniki, a cantankerous turquoise farmer from Tonopah, NV, whose "campaign" aims to reinvigorate the space program, go back to basics and restore America's standing in the world.

His campaign slogan - "Made from the Fabric of America."

There's one catch – Mr. Quasniki is literally made from fabric - he's a puppet. Not a mouthpiece for a special interest, and not some sort of Manchurian candidate. A real, "live," Jim Henson-style puppet.

A branch of The Jim Henson Company, The Henson Alternative, is behind Quasniki's campaign. He is also sponsored by Nerdist (a news, pop culture, comedy website), which is hosting videos on its YouTube channel.

Fair warning, Quasniki's language is quite salty – this is not a Muppet for children, much like The Simpsons, Family Guy or South Park are not cartoons for children.

As for a running mate, Mr. Quasniki's Facebook page says:

"Thank you for all your questions about my potential running mate. I am giving it a lot of thought, but I think what would be best for America is if I choose a running mate for cynical reasons based on manipulating people into voting for me. Do you have any suggestions?"

Perhaps a marionette is a good choice this year.

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